#36 THE BOOK OF GENERATIONS (REVISED)

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Dear Secret Agent:

Eve had no choice but to eat the fruit; the gods had no choice but to protect her.

Created to right the mistakes of Adam and protect God’s people, the Garden is no paradise for Eve or the others who were first made. After Eve’s creation and God’s death, Adam sets himself up as a god in the Garden, and his first goal is to take the two things forbidden to him: Eve as his wife, and the Fruit of Knowledge. Eve must escape Adam’s control and the Garden in order to save herself and her people.

Thor and the other Norse gods did not arrive until long after Creation, but now that they’ve settled there is much to learn.  During one of Thor’s journeys, he discovers Eve: beautiful, immortal, and for some inexplicable reason, living like she isn’t a goddess. With a wife waiting for him in Asgard, he never meant to fall in love.

After millenia without his memory, Adam comes looking for Eve in modern day France. Thor must step in to stop him, but doing so risks not only Eve’s sanity, but the destruction of the world.

THE BOOK OF GENERATIONS is a re-imagining of mythology borrowing from the Nordic, biblical, and classical traditions.  It is best classified as a work of fantasy with elements of historical fiction. THE BOOK OF GENERATIONS is roughly 97,000 words.

I graduated from the University of North Dakota with a BA in English and Classical Studies.

Thank you for your time and consideration; I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

***


Chapter One: Creation

Bone and flesh, sinew and soul, He created her.

Be Filled With My Spirit, And Breathe.

She gasped. Sound roared in her ears and the darkness of birth became blinding light. The air in her lungs was suffocating, but she could not find relief. The world pressed down upon her in all its living glory, and the void, the blessed void, was gone.

“Eve?”

The light became shapes and colors, and a pair of hard grey eyes. She touched her face, then stopped and stared at her fingers. Her hand. Her arm.

Another hand pushed her arm away. “Can you hear me?”

She looked back at the eyes. The face. The moving lips. She heard another noise, whimpering and sorrowful, and realized she was making it.

“Don’t be afraid, Eve. You’ll understand in time.”

Arms slipped beneath her and she felt herself lifted up. What hold she had over her vision failed with the movement and Eve closed her eyes to stop the way the world spun.

“There’s a storm coming.” The other spoke while carrying her, and she tried to concentrate on the voice. There was so much noise. And underneath the sounds and the voice a steady beating that echoed inside her body. “Without God to protect us, we’ll need to shelter in the caves.”

She was set down on cold earth, and Eve opened her eyes. Cave, she thought, shaping the word in her mind around the stone and the dirt that swallowed her.

9 Responses to “#36 THE BOOK OF GENERATIONS (REVISED)”

  1. Willow Cross says:

    >This sounds wonderful! I thought the query was interesting and gave just enough away to make sense, but not so much that I didn't need to read the book.

    The first 250 read very well. I would absolutely read on. The first sentence in the last paragraph caused me to falter a bit. I can't put my finger on it to tell you exactly, but : where she was set down–just sounded strange to me.

    Good luck and well done!!

  2. Annarkie says:

    >WOW. That is an interesting twist on religious themes and mythology. Your idea was also presented clearly.

  3. Ebyss says:

    >I have to agree with the others. It really is an imaginative twist to mythologies of old.

    I'm hooked. I'd read on.

  4. Jessie says:

    >This line confused me: "Thor and the other Norse gods did not arrive until long after Creation, but now that they’ve settled he has much to learn." I think b/c you refer to the group of gods and then say "he" has much to learn.
    The idea though sounds really cool and your writing is great. The first 250 pulled me in more than the query.

  5. Kate says:

    >I thought the query was well crafted. The twist on mythology by itself is compelling enough to pique interest. It definitely sells like a thrilling romantic fantasy.

    Your 250, however pulled me out a bit. Sentence fragments can be a great way to emphasize an idea. You use just a few too many of them for my tastes. The rhythm of the words becomes choppy in those places.

  6. Libbie H. says:

    >If I were an agent…

    The query:

    First sentence: Either use a semicolon instead of that comma, or make this into two sentences. Punctuation is important. The better handle you have on it, the fewer times your agent will have to read over this manuscript catching errors so it can be clean enough to go on submission. Get a copy of “Eats Shoots & Leaves” by Lynne Truss and bone up on punctuation. Then go through your manuscript like an anal-retentive monster and fix all the punctuation errors before you query. Moving on…

    You have some small flaws with your query – grammatical issues that aren’t huge deals, but cleaning them up will only make you look more professional and appealing. That being said, I like the premise. This is the kind of story that has the potential to really appeal to me, and I’d be excited to read more even though the query isn’t as strong as it could be.

    The sample:

    Absolutely gorgeous writing. I’d request a full in a heartbeat. Please do tidy up your query so you don’t turn anybody off from requesting pages of this manuscript. Good luck with this one!

    I’d send this one on to the next round.

  7. ThePreyers says:

    >Query: I think you have an interesting and unique story, but I'm a little confused as to who the main character is, Eve or Thor? I'm guessing it's Eve and I wonder if reworking the second paragraph to emphasize her would resolve that.

    Otherwise, concise and compelling.

    Sample: I really like the idea of opening with Eve's creation and showing the disorientation of 'birth.' I love the foreshadowing of "There's a storm coming." This pulls me in and I'd read on.

    One little nitpick. You have: And underneath the warmth a steady beating that echoed inside her body. But there's no previous mention of Adam's body warmth.

  8. Deborah says:

    >The first time I read this, I was not compelled enough to comment; this time all I can say is: Wow.

    The query immediately grabbed my attention; the first 250 retained it. If I were an agent, I'd want to read more to see if the gripping premise played out.

    Good work. 🙂
    Deborah

  9. Kristen says:

    >The query was compelling. It gave enough information without giving away too much. The excerpt was amazing. I am blown away by the creativity and the beautiful writing. If I were an agent I would request a full for sure!