Funny Friday: Jokes and Quotes

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Funny Convention

At a convention of biological scientists, Hannah, a researcher remarks to Pam, ‘Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?’
‘Really?’ Pam replies, ‘Why did you switch?’
‘Well, for two reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, and second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them,’ chortled Hannah.

A Friday Funny Story

Roger left for work on Friday morning.  Friday was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.
Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.  Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’
Roger replied grimly, ‘That would be fine with me.’
Monday went by and he didn’t see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye

Droll Traffic Cop

A traffic policeman stops a Maisie and asks to see her driving licence.


‘Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.’
‘Well,’ replies Maisie, ‘I have contacts.’
‘Lady, I don’t care who you know, you’re still going to get a ticket.’

Amusing Examination 

Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination?
Son: Underwater.
Father: What do you mean, underwater?
Son: Below “C” level.

Quirky Doctor

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a 10 Dollar note. Well go and buy something then, the change will do you good.


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