Torment Tuesday: Revising the suck

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Yeah…not the most uplifting title, is it?  But that’s the way I feel this morning. I really don’t know what else to write about, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I chatter on and on.  J/K.

Anyway, I’m deep into revisions and seriously I feel as tormented as my characters. I’m at that lovely stage where I just want to throw my computer at the wall because I’m pretty sure I’ve just written 86k words of crap. 

Sure my CPs don’t agree, but I’m looking at the words I’ve written and wondering how I ever thought that this train wreck of a MS was a good idea. 

Okay, that’s probably a bit harsh.  I’ve got some great things in there AND it’s really technically only the first draft, but I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. 

So, you’re asking, if you hate it so much, why don’t you delete and start over? 

Well, you see, that’s how I ALWAYS feel at this stage. I’ve done it with absolutely every book I’ve ever written.  And I know, deep down, it’s not nearly as bad as I think it is, but it’s like looking in a mirror and seeing yourself as fatter than you really are. 

No matter how often someone tells you, you look great, you don’t really believe it.  It’s the same with my MSs for me. No matter how often my CPs tell me it’s great, I only see it’s flaws. 

Only after revising it to the point that I feel if I fix even one more thing I’ll vomit, do I consider the fact that it may be all right. And then, that’s when I send it to my agent.  So she can help me make it even better, and then to my editor, who will hopefully love it and make it practically perfect. 

So, question for you?  How long does it take you fall back in love with your manuscripts?  Do you ever get to that point?


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